Rating: PG Fandom: X-Files, Get Smart Pairing: Mulder-86/Krycek-13 Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. Feedback: carene@pacific.net
Would You Believe... by Carene

I'm working on a Mulder/Krycek story, overlaid with the old Get Smart Show. It all fits so... perfectly it's scary. Mulder is 86, Scully is 99, Skinner is the Chief, and Krycek is 13, the agent who was always assigned to spy from small places like mailboxes, ice machines and airport lockers. (You can see where I'm going with that.) Then combine the X-Files conspiracies with the KAOS plots -- heh.

And then there's the shoe phone sex.

In the meantime, working in the Get Smart bits has resulted in some drabbles. These may or may not appear in the final story. But they form a kind of outline.

Scully was shocked. "You're sending a man out after Krycek?"
"Look, Mulder's the-- best we've got." Skinner said.
"The best what?"
Skinner and Mulder exchanged glances. Scully frowned
"You're sending him out as bait," she said flatly.
"Well, you must admit, as bait, he's--"
"Chief!" Scully was scandalized. "Krycek is a notorious sexual chameleon, a serious deviant who will balk at nothing to satisfy his warped, twisted desires. It'd be safer to send a woman. Mulder is--"
"I'm not a virgin, Scully."
"But Mulder, you'll be facing every kind of-- of-- danger imaginable."
Mulder grinned. "And loving it."

"This is like Twister standing up," Mulder complained.
Krycek breathed close to Mulder's ear. "Stop squirming so much. "This your first time?"
"In a broom closet, yes."
"Hm."
"You think you're the first?" Mulder sneered. "Hey, I'm hot! I had to hide out in Utah once because the entire cast of Naked Boys Singing was after my ass."
"Mulder, I find that hard to believe."
"Would you believe the Los Bastardos cast of Rocky Horror Picture Show?"
"No."
"Would you believe the Pleasant Hill Rec Summer production of Annie?"
"Mulder, just relax and pretend it's your own hand, okay?"
"Got it."

"All this-- the wayback machine to send Scully back to 1965 and implode the television re-run continuum--"
Krycek smiled and walked around Mulder hanging in his own net.
Mulder craned his neck to follow. ''--Your android-clone evil twin--"
Krycek slashed the net casually and Mulder fell to the floor. Krycek rolled him over on his back and straddled him.
"--the secret meetings in the mailbox, the broom closet, the airport locker, the ice machine, the potted fern--"
Krycek tugged at Mulder's belt.
"Don't tell me you engineered this whole nefarious plot just to get in my pants!"
"I engineered the whole nefarious plot just to get in your pants," Krycek said.
"I asked you not to tell me that."

-End-