Rating: PG Fandom: Highlander Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. And abject apologies to Monty Python's Flying Circus Feedback: carene@pacific.net
I Didn't Come Here to Argue! by Carene

Kronos: You still don't understand, do you MacLeod? I am the end of time!
MacLeod: No you're not.
Kronos: [Pauses] What?
MacLeod: You're not the end of time.
Kronos: Yes I am!
MacLeod: No you're not.
Kronos: I am!
MacLeod: You're not!
Kronos: Let's get this thing clear; I quite definitely am the end of time.
MacLeod: No you're not.
Kronos: Yes I am.
MacLeod: No you're not.
Kronos: Yes I am.
MacLeod: No you're not.
Kronos. Am!
MacLeod: Not!
Kronos: Oh look this isn't getting us anywhere.
MacLeod: Yes it is.
Kronos: No it isn't.
MacLeod: Yes it is.
Kronos: No it isn't. I am the end of time, I tell you! Stop contradicting me, MacLeod!
MacLeod: I didn't
Kronos: You did!
MacLeod: No I didn't.
Kronos: Look, you just contradicted me.
MacLeod I did not.
Kronos: Oh you did!!
MacLeod: No, no, no.
Kronos: You did just then.
MacLeod: Nonsense!
Kronos: Oh, this is futile!
MacLeod No it isn't.
Kronos: Look, I am the end of time. If you want to argue about it fine, but an argument isn't just contradiction.
MacLeod: It can be.
Kronos: No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
MacLeod: No it isn't
Kronos: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction
MacLeod: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
Kronos: Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'
MacLeod: Yes it is.
Kronos: No it isn't!
MacLeod: Yes it is.
Kronos: Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
[pause]
MacLeod: No it isn't.
Kronos: It is.
MacLeod: Not at all.
Kronos: Now look. [Draws himself up, tries again]: I AM THE END OF TIME!
MacLeod: You're history.
Kronos: Aha, two can play this game! [Plants his sword in the ground in front of MacLeod, leans on it] I am NOT!
MacLeod: Oh, yes you are.
Kronos: [Pushing his face up to MacLeod's] Oh, not I'm not!
MacLeod: Oh, yes you are!
Kronos: Oh, no I'm not!
MacLeod: Yes you are!
Kronos: No I'm not!
MacLeod: Are too!
Kronos: Am not!
MacLeod: Are too!
Kronos: Am not!
MacLeod: Are not!
Kronos: Am too! [pause] Oh, bugger.
[MacLeod takes his head]
MacLeod: [as the quickening begins] What a maroon.

-End-